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The question “Why?” permeates the entire grief process. You will have many questions about yourself and about the circumstances surrounding the loss of your child. There are no right or wrong answers to these questions, but with time you may begin to know what answers are right and wrong for you.

These are some of the most frequently asked questions after the death of an infant:

Early On

  • Why our baby?
  • Did our baby suffer?
  • Was it my fault?
  • Could it have been prevented?
  • What do we tell the other children?
  • Should we have an autopsy done?
  • Should we have a funeral?
  • What should we do with the crib, baby’s clothes, toys, etc.?
  • What about babies we might have in the future?


  • Am I going crazy?
  • Why does everyone want us to forget our baby?
  • Why do I have to protect others when I am the one who is hurting?
  • How can I deal with others’ questions and seemingly uncaring statements?