Surviving Domestic Violence: Lashawn Spencer's Path to Healing through the WakeMed Violence Recovery Program

According to the National Institutes of Health, "Over 35 percent of heterosexual women, 40 percent of lesbians and 60 percent of bisexual women experience domestic violence." 

Domestic partner abuse is all too common for women and can include physical altercations, violations of personal liberty and even assaults with a deadly weapon.

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On February 29, 2024 — leap day — Lashawn Spencer awoke to find her partner with an odd aura about him, as he had not slept for several nights prior. 

As the couple had been seeking treatment for his mental health condition, Lashawn recalled, "Something about my boyfriend seemed off. I looked at him, and I said, 'Hey, do I need to call mental health? Do we need to go to the hospital? Is anything going on?' And, he was like, 'No, I'm fine.'"

Hearing that response, Lashawn took her son to before school care. She then returned home to get dressed for work and drop her partner off at his job. 

"When I came in the house, he looked at me and said, "Today is the day I'm going to torture and kill you."

Lashawn walked into the living room and noticed her personal handgun was next to the couch. She brushed off the concern, recalling her partner had slept in the living room the night prior, and he'd previously told her he would keep it handy to protect them from a possible home invasion. 

Suddenly, he brought up a text on her phone, and they began arguing about it. Within seconds, her partner picked up the gun and assaulted her at gun point. Following the assault, she sprang up, retrieved a wrench and threw it at his head, hoping he'd pass out from the hit, and she could leave. She missed, but with his anger riled, he shot her three times: twice in the abdomen and once on her outer chest. Lashawn fell to the floor as her partner made frantic calls to his loved ones and began packing to leave the scene. 

"I lay on the floor, trying to play dead because I didn't know what he would do. He kept checking my pulse and talking to me. Before he walked out, fleeing in my car, he kissed my forehead and said 'I love you. Please don't forget that.'"

A Plea for Help

Once he left, Lashawn attempted to call for help using the home security system, but it was disabled. She then looked around for her phone, tablet or computer, but all three were out of sight. With all the strength she could muster, she rose and opened the front door. Seeing her next door neighbor pulling his trash cans in, she yelled for his help. 

"I was trying to figure out how to get out of my house alive because my biggest worry and concern was my son."

Eyes wide, the neighbor swiftly went to her aid and called 911. In moments, emergency medical services (EMS) teams were on the scene. Police contacted the school her son attended and took steps to ensure his safety.

A Swift Ride to Level 1 Care

EMS workers, meanwhile, stabilized Lashawn and prepared to take her to the WakeMed Raleigh Campus Emergency Department Level 1 Trauma Center.

"I was confused because there was a hospital five minutes away. I kept telling them, please don't let me die. My neighbor used to be an EMS driver, and she came over, and I remember hearing her voice telling me, 'Calm down. It's going to be okay. They're taking you exactly where you need to go."

The Level 1 Trauma Center team was awaiting Lashawn's arrival. She was not stable when she arrived in the trauma bay and went emergently to the operating room. 

WakeMed general surgeon Charles T. Woodham, MD, FACS, was joined by consulting physician vascular surgeon Kirk Charles, MD, FACS, RPVI. Dr. Woodham led the team in delivering lifesaving care, quickly and competently assessing her traumatic injuries and stopping life-threatening hemorrhage, which also included the removal of parts of her intestines. The following day, Dr. Woodham removed her gallbladder as well.

Dr. Woodham recalls, "Ms. Spencer had a remarkable recovery."

Once stable, she was taken to Imaging Services for a computed tomography (CT) scan as well as X-rays. Lashawn was diagnosed with a bullet to her abdomen that came out of her left hip, causing nerve damage; a bullet wound to her breast; as well as a bullet lodged in her abdomen that could not be removed. Shrapnel hit many of Lashawn's organs as well. 

Wake Orthopaedics surgeon, Timothy Harris, MD, next removed one bullet from her sacroiliac joint. 

Dr. Harris observes, "We usually remove bullets in joints, so they don’t cause further damage to the joint or migrate to other parts of the body. I’m very hopeful for a good long-term outcome for Ms. Spencer."  

General and bariatric surgeon Michael Williford, MD, FACS was also present in the delivery of expert care, along with other members of the care team. 

"I was in shock and paranoid, despite the lifesaving care I was receiving. I felt like I was in a bubble. Nothing was making sense."

In time, Lashawn began to regain physical health as the teams worked around the clock in the WakeMed Surgical Trauma Intensive Care Unit (STICU) to deliver the highest level of intensive care. Yet, her fears and paranoia remained. 

"I was in a psychosis of sorts. I was seeing things. I was hearing things. I kept thinking I heard my ex-partner's voice in the hallway. I saw ominous messages appear on the walls. I had dreams of him taking my son."

Kind Consistency of the WakeMed Violence Recovery Program Team

Soon, she was introduced to WakeMed Violence Recovery Program case manager and social worker, Asia Hight. 

"Hight came in pretty much immediately once I was conscious. She could tell something was off with me, but she came through every day to make sure I was doing okay. She brought me crossword puzzles. She brought me books to read. She would come oftentimes, sit down and ask how I was feeling and if I needed anything. She asked about my son whom Child Protective Services had placed with my sister. She was my best friend at the hospital because she was the one person who every day, no matter what, would come and spend time with me and eat lunch with me. We established a bond that to this day I can pick up the phone and call Hight, and she's on top of anything that I need. She's my angel in disguise. She had no judgment concerning the reason for my hospitalization. She was just the friend I needed. So many others showed their support as well, including friends, coworkers, neighbors and even Nolan's daycare director. I'm grateful for everyone, but I am especially thankful for Hight who is still walking with me through this trauma and holding my hand." 

The WakeMed Violence Recovery Program was established to assist patients admitted to the hospital due to injuries from violence. Staff of the grant-supported initiative offer resources, transportation and referrals both during and after a patient's discharge from the hospital.

Therapeutic Intervention through WakeMed Rehabilitation

By March 27, Lashawn was transferred to the WakeMed Rehabilitation Hospital, where she received occupational, recreational and physical therapy. She participated in two intensive sessions each day with occupational therapists Lacey Lipic and Karlen Geldmaker, physical therapists Cailin Watts and Michaela Morris and recreational therapist Kristyn Yates. She also enjoyed interacting with rehab case manager Melissa Hale.

A Search for a Healthy and Safe Next Step

On April 10, Lashawn was discharged home. However, upon entering her home, she was overcome by paralyzing fear. Lashawn spoke with Hight as well as her therapist who urged her to leave the home as it was not conducive to her recovery. By April 12, she relocated to Raleigh to live with a family member while her son was still court-mandated to remain in her sister's care.

After she moved, she continued outpatient physical therapy at WakeMed Outpatient Rehabilitation - Cary. Hight helped facilitate transportation. 

"Hight was wonderful. She provided Ubers for transportation to and from the hospital for my appointments."

Home at Last with Her Precious Son

 

Lashawn was able to move back into her home with her son in August 2024. With the support of family cleaning and straightening up, it was a joyous return to normalcy. 

Know the Signs of a Toxic Romantic Relationship

Lashawn recalls her relationship with her ex-partner as mostly joyous. He was charming, generous and kind. He got along well with her family and spent time with her son. Yet, she admits there were red flags she didn't take seriously. 

Reflecting on the traumatic incident, Lashawn shares, "He was charming, but he would joke about me never leaving him unless I was in a body bag since we were like 'Death Row Records.' He had a prior string of negative relationships in which he blamed the women. One time over our nearly three-year relationship, he blacked my eye and refused to let me leave the home. Today, I deal with the fallout of our relationship, but I smile through it. I have days I cry, meltdown and suffer panic attacks. Yet, mostly I'm grateful to be alive and to have my son back in my care — and in my home." 

If you or someone you know is curious about whether the relationship you are involved in might have the potential for violence, consider the Gabby Petito questions in the "The Mandatory Questions Asked Under The 12 Questions Bill."

1. Did the aggressor ever use a weapon against you or threaten you with a weapon?
2. Did the aggressor ever threaten to kill you or your children?
3. Do you believe the aggressor will try to kill you?
4. Has the aggressor ever choked you or attempted to choke you?
5. Does the aggressor have a gun, or could the aggressor easily obtain a gun?
6. Is the aggressor violently or constantly jealous, or does the aggressor control most of your daily activities?
7. Did you leave or separate from the aggressor after you were living together or married?
8. Is the aggressor unemployed?
9. To the best of your knowledge, has the aggressor ever attempted suicide?
10. Do you have a child whom the aggressor believes is not the aggressor’s biological child?
11. Has the aggressor ever followed, spied on or left threatening messages for you?
12. Is there anything else that worries you about your safety and, if so, what worries you?
     

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